Super Hans: Leave the naming to the baby mama, if I were you. That’s what I did.

Mark: You have… kids?

Super Hans: The twins… I’m always going on about my twins, aint I?

Mark: I don’t think you’ve ever previously mentioned “the twins”.

Super Hans: Course I have. The twins! The fuckin’ twins! I’m always on about them. I bloody love them two. Here, I’ve got them on my phone… oh, hold on, have I? Ohh I’ll never forgive Orange if they’ve wiped the twins… oh, that is - that is shitty, where are the bloody twins..? Great kids - bit lazy, bit on the lazy side, very rarely pick up the phone to their old man.

Mark: How old are they?

Super Hans: How old? Eeh, about 7 or 8? What’s “funf” in English?

Mark: Five.

Super Hans: They turned funf zwei years ago, so, what… pair of 8ers, I reckon. I bloody love them two…